For stuff I wouldn't post on dA, something a bit more personal.
If you're a douchebag (I reserve the right to make this decision) please don't click on this link.
[link]Mainly because I love the layout I chose. It's fucking rad.
Someone else I know join this thing so I can be your friend. (This is not a promise to be your friend and is based on if I like you or not)
I need lots of disclaimers so people don't go "woah that's not what you said".
I try to present as much of the truth as possible.
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So for those of you who aren't in the know, my parents are hardcore christians. They used to be a lot worse but dealing with me and all the shit that's going on (and talking to my numerous psychs a lot) means they can see sense a little better than they did before. They might still have their personal beliefs, but they have experienced me cracking it at them enough to try and not saying stupid things.
Well every other saturday a whole bunch of their friends from church (and their families) gather at someone's house and sing, and pray to jesus and whatnot. This week they're at our house. So I had to endure bad off-key singing about how great jesus is, which is bad but whatever. I can deal. But now (the adults and children split up and one adult leads the children) they're talking about how the devil tries to get into your head.
Someone brought up how this kid heard voices, and then everyone got together and prayed. Because hearing things is the devil trying to talk to you, and to counter this you should pray to god and "memorise bible verses so you can ward him off like jesus did". Now, I've had psychotic episodes. I'm currently on anti-psychotics. And telling impressionable children that psychosis is the fucking devil talking to you is not only stupid, but breeds a culture of ignorance for a new generation.
I am sick and tired of people saying mental illness is all in our heads, and we can control what we do, blah blah blah but they hail cancer survivors or those experiencing as fucking heroes. Whereas if you've battled mental illness you are stigmatised and have people telling their children not to go near you.
MENTAL ILLNESS IS REAL.
I have worked my fucking arse off for years to get to where I am, I have gone through crazy ups and downs and gritted my teeth through the worst fucking days where I just want to lie in bed and cry. I take my meds like a good girl and see my psychs regularly - this is my 'treatment'. I have never chosen to have a mental illness and it certainly is not 'made up'.
And I'm sick of people discounting how hard I try, and how hard millions of people with mental illnesses try to be the best they can and just slagging us off as 'crazy people'. Or that it is the devil talking to you. Mum believed this too and came to pray over me one night in as a form of exorcism, now she knows better than that.
Argh, I just want to scream and go ape shit at these people in my house. It's one thing to have to go out and experience this degradation, but to have it in my own house really rubs me up the wrong way.
Sorry to rant but I needed to write it somewhere. And I know some people will understand - I've met many who have, and it's just sad that there are so many that are so ignorant.
In other news, I am mostly happy (apart from this outburst) as I have finished uni for the semester and am on holidays for 9 weeks!
It feels good to do nothing, I went food shopping with Dad this morning and it was quite fun. My dad totally indulges my food whims, he is a serious food lover!! He bought a dozen fresh oysters today and we shared it cos no one else wanted it - absolute heaven. You gots to treat yourself every now and again!
Oh and my feature is staying the same: Go check out those pictures, now!
Off to get my third cup of tea for today.... I'm so addicted.
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I would have chased the fuckers down the street with a pitchfork screaming satanic quotes. Little minds can come to the conclusion that anything 'mental' is not real and can be blamed on 'evil' things. Just shows how stupid religion is.
Your a strong girl honey, very strong.
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I have a lovely bunch of coconuts
Swing by and stalk me at myspace - [link]
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Keep Left and be considerate.
I've spent many years acting out against my parents and their religion, and it's come to the point where I can sort of mostly ignore it. It's the easiest thing to do, for my sanity and theirs. It's so easy to blame the bad things on evil forces and it really shows that people are happy not to think for themselves and be brainwashed! Scary, really.
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"We were once together, now I'm simply surrounded."
My parents refused to believe I was 'sick' until some terrible things happened and they were forced to confront it, and see that maybe I needed something else other than prayer. They still put a lot of my improvement down to jesus and prayer though, which infuriates me because it sort of discounts how hard I've had to work for it.
I've met a few christians who aren't pigheaded and they are generally very intelligent people, so I guess there's hope for some of them? Even though my dad is one of the smartest people I know... maybe smarter in some ways and not so in others
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"We were once together, now I'm simply surrounded."
The worst thing for me is the media and movies. It's helped a LOT of people with mental illnesses. I mean think of Rain Man, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, As Good as It Gets, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Beautiful Mind etc etc. Movies like that have great influence to help normal people understand ant least a bit.
My mental illness only has people labeled as complete fucking psychos and it's disgusting to have people associate me with that, or pretend that I would choose to be that way.
I'm so sorry you have to go through that with your family. I'm lucky that while no one else understand my family does. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Not everyone gets the luck of the draw- but at least people like you and me (and most of the non-religos these days) understand at least a bit.
Grr... Some people's beliefs are so stupid. Like people who let their loved ones die because they believe blood transfusions steal your soul and would rather have them bleed to death >_> And you know, people who believe people like you and me would choose to be miserable/fucked up, or that we'd just pretend to make them feel bad. Ignorant, selfish, stupid.
*hug*
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~ Miss Irony
Courting Discord and Vanity
My mother did a whole bunch of praying through most of my own manic episodes, and didn't manage to tell me about the history of manic depression in our family until I was already 21, and in my first major breakdown. Thanks God, you sure made my teenage life a joy!
I... don't believe in god.
My family is like that, my partners family is like that, and it leaves me wondering how otherwise intelligent, well spoken people can believe in it, have faith in it.
Stephen Fry made a doco, The secret life of a manic depressive- I really wish somehow it could be better advertised, more people could see it because it really helps people to understand just how real it is!!
On a lighter note, a skeptical dyslexic lies in bed one night wondering... "Is there a Dog?"
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Eternal life is a prison for the walking Dead.
stock: ~kaios-stock
I have Bipolar Disorder.
My best friend's mom is a hardcore christian. I made the mistake of going to church with my best friend one morning.
BAD IDEA.
The churchgoers were praying in tongues at me etc. I actually had to leave, it caused so much anxiety in me to be around that.
It's a pretty cruddy feeling, being alienated from your best friend (who actually doesn't even believe in god anyways...) by her parent. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have your parents entertain that sort of company.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know :]
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blue to grey
grow up and blow away
I'm a Christian too but I can't stand this primitive idea of things being "the devil" - to me it's like an excuse not to deal with issues. If everyone believed psychotic episodes were the "voice of the devil" then anti-psychotic drugs would never have been invented and people like yourself and one of my best friends would have to deal with it on their own.
There is a place for faith, and I know hardcore Christians may disagree with me, but you can't expect God to fix everything.
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Danger could be my middle name but it's Susan...
creativecaptures.co.uk
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(I dont model, I just pull funny faces while people take pictures)
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